Wednesday, February 25, 2015

How Do I Become Famous?

In today's society, people have an interest in attaining three or four things. Everyone wants to get their hands on a attractive woman, or a hunky man. Money! Money is also extremely important. Power? Sure, power is crucial, as well. However, more and more people are striving to become famous. Thankfully, it is possible to obtain several of these, in one fell swoop. In fact, it is possible to obtain a celebrity status, by sitting at home and using the Internet. Below, you will find answers to the question, "How do I become famous?"

The Youtube Method

Obviously, Youtube is a popular video sharing website, which is filled, with all kinds of strange kooks. Since almost everything has been done once before, you're going to need to use your imagination. There are several options here. You could potentially go full retard and eat a bathtub full of cereal like a nutrient deprived, UNICEF child. With a little luck, this could get you an interview, with the president. Of course, you can take this a little bit further, for added success.

Strive to humiliate yourself, as much as possible! People on the Internet love feeling better about themselves and you can help them do just that, by making an a-hole out of yourself. Wearing a diaper, with pride is a great choice. Extra points are added, if you pee or poop yourself, while on camera.

Youtube viewers love loose cannons! Throw a tantrum and smash something really good and you'll become famous online! Destroy something of value for extra points. The key here is to make yourself look like yourself, or a total a-hole loser. This shouldn't be too difficult.

Do something Stupid

Doing something incredibly stupid is always a sure fire way to become famous. Be sure to pick something so dumb that your story will spark headlines across the world. Of course, you will need to plan the entire stunt precisely. A lot of people have made themselves famous, with this very method. Kim Kardashian did it with a sex tape, as did Paris Hilton. If you're a woman, this can be achieved, by having twelve to thirteen children. You'll be given a clever nickname and everything! Frying your skin in the tanning booth is also a common way to become famous.

There are some much more effective manners, but they're going to make you infamous rather than famous. Find a dark neighborhood, pick a fight with someone and get pummeled for a few minutes. I think you get the point here. Just be prepared for the backlash, cause people are going to hate you!

Pretend to Be

This one is a really fun and exiting way to become famous. You need to be creative here. Pack a backpack and head out into the woods. Get yourself really dirty and hungry. In a few days, you'll want to emerge from the woods and head to the closest store. Bingo! You're a survivor. On the other hand, you may want to consider pretending to be an amazing American veteran of one of the recent American wars. Strike up a long list of kills and you're well on your way! Be sure to bash Muslims and Arabs, if you want to be a true American patriot! Within a year, you'll be able to write a successful book, and you might even get a feature film.

Allah Akbar!

With the constant media attention on American citizens joining ISIS or some other concocted terrorist group, you should definitely consider this option, even if it might get your water boarded or molested, by American female soldiers. Are a few electrical shocks worth the fame? Many would think so! Grow a beard, cover your heard and consume thirty pounds of Halal chicken. Will American's hate you? Sure, but some of them will adore your courage. Either way, you'll be famous, as a jihadist!

If all else fails

Some people have gone through this entire list and have failed to become famous, get arrested or wind up dead, which is a terrible shame. Thankfully, there is one other way to become famous, but you'll need to leave your pride, at home. You're going to need a good bottle of lubricant and an agent. You might want to do a little stretching, before you dive right in! This process can hurt dramatically. Take it, fake it and get paid. With time, you'll have an entire portfolio of work, which is sure to make you famous worldwide!

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