Friday, March 13, 2015

Guide for Choosing a Religion

Religion is a worldwide language, in which people worship a variety of different idols, statutes, animals and figures. Of course, religion is many different languages, which are strewn throughout. This makes it difficult for one to know which religion to choose for their specific situation. You'll need to examine each individual religion, before making your decision, since you'll need to become completely revolted to the cause. Within this guide, you'll find helpful tips for determining, which religion is right for your specific beliefs.

Converting to Islam

Being a Muslim in America is a brave task, which is often avoided. Still, there are some individuals that should always choose to go this holy route. For instance, if you've ever been locked in a prison cell and had to share an 8x10 with a huge, horny man, you'll definitely want to convert. Anyone, who has ever spent time in prison, converts to Islam.

Following this religious path can get your ridiculed on the outside, but it may also make you famous. Some very popular American figures have went to jail, got raped and transformed to Muslims. Malcolm X did this and so did Iron Mike Tyson. What a coincidence huh?


This is certainly a lesser known religion, but it is preferred for individuals, who can't get enough marijuana. If you smoke weed, you'll certainly want to consider converting to this Abrahamic religion. You really don't need to worry about the other aspects of the religion! Just remember that Rastafarians consider weed to be sacred, which gives you the freedom to smoke yourself retarded. Don't worry about the shellfish, pork, or dreadlocks. Just remember, Ras wants you to smoke weed.


If you're angry, or refuse to be creative, you should definitely become an atheist. In order to do this, you will need to forget all of the fairytales that you grew up with. It is best to throw away your dreams, give up your imagination and bash anyone, who feels differently. This is likely the easiest "religion" to follow, since you don't really need to do anything. This is why America is spreading with atheists.


Catholicism is a tough religion, but it definitely has some compelling rewards, if you're willing to rise through the ranks. Remember that you'll need to spend many years dedicated to the religion, but if you can make it to the priest level, you'll be able to have your way with your congregation.


Overall, Christianity is a very easy religion to follow. In fact, the religion can be manipulated to fit your current life style. If you feel the need to go out and sleep with a hooker, you shouldn't feel too bad. As long as you head back to church on Sunday, all will be forgiven and you'll be headed to Heaven. Despite what the Bible says, you can alter it to your beliefs, just ask Phil Robertson.


At the end of the day, religion gives you a reason to feel good about yourself. It also gives you something to do and people to hang out with. Just be sure to find a religion, which suits your beliefs, lifestyle and habits. If all else fails, you can always go the atheists route and hate everything.

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