Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Chicago Things To Do Today

Hey there all you sightseers, are you ready to explore Chicagoland? The Windy City is home to the magnificent Rahm Emanuel, the autistic mullet man on skates and dozens upon dozens of horrific murders! What more could a world traveler ask for? Taking a tour of the hometown of The Black Gangster Disciples is thrilling! Don't forget to bring your digital camera, because you'll want to snap photos of the murder scene of the group's 11-year-old member, "Yummy". The gangster lived a horrific life full of murder and arson, but he was gunned down by a fearful co-member.

Black Gangster Disciples Yummy

Don't forget to make your way down to Halsted & 77th! Your luck factor will soar, when visiting this area. According to statistics, you have a 1 in 9 chance of becoming a spirit in the sky here! By sticking around after dark, you might be taking a risk, but you'll be able to mingle with crackheads and street hustlers! When visiting Mr J Fish and Chicken, it is advised to get in and out quickly. Kevlar vests are recommended for the entire family.

Be sure to book a trip to the city's East Side Public Library. The library has a massively nice collection of Mark Twain books, which can be taken and rented indefinitely! No library card is needed. Although the library is free to utilize, you may need to force your way inside. Once you're in, there will be no crowds, so feel free to explore the entire collection as your heart desires! Be sure to lock your vehicle and hide any belongings, or take them with you!

things to do in chicago

Make sure to take a trip to the International Amphitheater….oh wait, that one was demolished. Instead, head on over to Lincoln Park, where you'll be able to partake in some narcotics, but it is recommended to avoid bending over in public. The sexual related crimes in this area are in the Duggar levels. For that matter, Chicago ranks right up there in the Jerry Sandusky levels. Therefore, women shouldn't walk Chicago streets alone.

Last and not least, it is wise to take a trip to Chicago's amazing St. Agatha Catholic Church. Be sure to follow in the footsteps of the Reverend Daniel McCormack. Just don't drop to your knees and pray inside of the facility and you'll have a good time exploring all of the Holy artifacts.

Well there you have it! Chicago is an excellent city to visit, if you know all of the things to do! Don't forget to check out the lovely dilapidated buildings! They certainly offer a wonderful chance to explore the decay of America! Cheerio!

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