Saturday, July 25, 2015

UFC On Fox 16 Death In The Ring!!

Are you a fan of human cock fighting? Welp, it has finally happened. A man has officially died from injuries sustained from abuse inside of the Octagon. Something appeared to be seriously wrong, when 49 year old, Renan Barao, entered the octagon alongside the 20 year old opponent, TJ Dillashaw. At the first, the fight was awkwardly competitive, with Barao standing his ground, despite still receiving intravenous fluids, during the introductions. After the doctor got the IV out and Herb Dean sleepily told the fighters to fight, things got a little interesting.

TJ jogged around, combed his pretty hair aside and eventually pushed his older foe against the cage. While there, TJ unleashed a massively long fence grab that nearly decapitated Barao. Herb Dean stood ideally by. At this point, Herb Dean was an absolute epitome of all that is wrong with people like Herb Dean. After the pair danced about a little, the round ended and Herb Dean returned to his stool for a nap. The second round was little different. Barao was pinned against the cage, TJ gripped onto the cage and clung on for dear life. Dean again waited patiently for something to happen. He looked utterly bored and out of it.

Again, the round came to a conclusion and Herb went back to his stool to drink purple drank and sip a little weeds mang. Finally, it happened. TJ relentlessly wailed on Barao, who was pinned up against the fence. Barao was idle and barely breathing. He slumped over and hit the mat. TJ continued hammering away, but Herb Dean was nowhere to be found. Dana White was seen in the corner furiously using his stubbly little fingers to angrily bash fans on Twitter. Reebok rules! Go to heck! Stop watching! Little did anyone know, Herb Dean had overdosed and was gyrating like Brooke Hogan on a black. Finally, Joe Rogan got TJ's cock out of his throat and announced on the speaker system that Dean was out of it.

Barao and Dean were hauled away on stretchers. Although it is believed that Dean died of a crack cocaine overdoes, some have a conspiracy that Barao actually smothered him on the way to do the hospital, while muttering, "da feeennce, da feeeence, u ashy abeed!" Stay tuned, as Dana White is expected to publicly announce his apology to the gay community for homophobic comments on Twitter. Joe Rogan has already scheduled his own press conference to apologize to the American people for destroying The Man Show and to publicly unveil his new strain of marijuana, which makes cock sucking irresistible.

Be sure to contact your local congressman and ask them to stop another atrocity from occurring. Unfit for Children cannot be allowed to continue corrupting the minds of youths all around the nation.

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