Monday, September 21, 2015

Welfare Day Essential Shopping List

Hey there Americans! It is welfare and food stamp day again, which means it is time to put together your essential list of welfare and food stamp items! Lettuce, potatoes and celery! Yeah! Forget all about those! Instead, it is time to purchase some big screen televisions, PS4 games and porn! What else could you need? Ah, don't forget about those delicious Marlboro cigarettes! Who cares, if little Tommy doesn't have any fresh milk? Those cigarettes are absolutely essential and you can always borrow some milk or let him do without it! Right?

On this very pertinent day, Americans all around the globe will be lining up up to check out the latest Sling TV Reviews and current SlingTV channels. What? Yes! Who cares about diapers and formula, when you can watch Hulu on your big screen? Isn't your entertainment more important than little Johnny's health and fitness? Don't forget about that new iPhone! You've already got the one version, but the new one is soooo cool and all of your entitled friends got one. You can't be the only welfare recipient without one of these cool and overly expensive phones, right?

How about a new love seat or a couch? Those have to be essential items for someone on food stamps, am I right? Don't forget the potato chips and sodas! With your newly acquired food stamps, you'll need to make a separate visit to Wal-Mart and you'll need to 2 buggies, in order to carry your family's soda supply! Who cares if that Mountain Dew rots little Jenny's teeth and blackens her gums? This is America! We've grown up on Mountain Dew and we don't care, if it destroys the lining of our esophagus. We're free and entirely entitled to chug down sodas and stuff our faces with Doritos, until we vomit.

When you hit up the food aisle, you will want to make sure to get the good meat! Grab all of the foods that the working people are avoiding! They're doing their duty, so you can eat the foods that they cannot! Cheers! Those steaks look delicious! Grab a few pounds and don't forget about the hamburger meat! Ah! Isn't life wonderful, as an entitled American? Yes! It truly is!


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